Why Isn't this Fixed Already? And the Better Question--Why is This Funny?

It's been an entire week on the "new" regimen of vitamins and supplements.  So far, this isn't fixed.  Shouldn't it be?  I have done everything I was supposed to and this week am going to step it up a notch by actually moving around more than just from the bed to the couch and back to the bed.  Next week I should be ready to start some serious training.  Not only am I not completely healed, but my feet and hands look like they have retained half the missing water in the Guadalupe River.  I find this highly annoying.  Friday I spent a great afternoon and evening with my sister doing a whole lot of nothing too important.  It was great.  I think I woke up from my nap following these activites Friday on Sunday afternoon.  This too, is annoying.

A very wise woman I met said that "hindsight is easier because during the trial, all we tend to feel is the trauma." (Kris Belcher)  She was right.  Since I first heard that over a month ago, I have been trying to find the humor where I can. This morning I decided in light of another night of zero hours of sleep, that instead of thinking about how discouraged I am, I would try to find the humor in my situation, then start making a list.  I plan on consulting this list frequently.  I am also guessing that this list is going to take some doing.  So far, I have two things on the list.

1.  Hair.  I am losing my hair--by the handfuls.  It is distressing to me, and I'm sure much more noticeable to me than to others.  However, I am comforted by the fact that those on the areas of my body in which I do NOT want hair (ok--really, who are we kidding here?  The chin.) are intact with all of it hanging in there tough.  It takes a chain saw to saw that stuff out.  I am fortunate, however, that I do not suffer from the same thing that men do as they age--each hair that disappears from the top sprouts out the nose or ears.  This also brings up that whole scriptural passage "not even a hair on your head will be lost."  Really?  In light of plucking, shaving, laser removal, waxing, etc. I'm not completely convinced that this promise was particularly well thought out.

2.  Somewhere in this weekend I did manage to slime out to the store for birthday fixings for my son's 12th birthday and for some organic veggies to juice with.  Which brings me to the second thing I find funny:  juicing--just the whole concept.  To do this, you need a juicer.  These things are the size of small engines and just as shiny.  It sounds like an airplane taking off in a hangar.  You also need veggies.  The concept is this:  if you can't figure out a way to make it palatable, you juice it.  This means that any veggie that no one would ever willingly eat is endowed with supersonic qualities and when juiced is going to make me feel healthier than I've ever felt before.  I smell a small, yet powerful Washington Inedible Vegetable Lobbying group at work here, but whatever.  So the required vegetables are things like spinach (actually don't completely hate that one at least in its solid form) and anything else green:  parsley, kale, collard greens, mustard greens, beet greens--just greens in general.  If this is too bitter, then you can add carrots for sweet.  Really?  Last I checked sweet involved  cocoa beans, six cups of fat and three gallons of pure cane sugar.  Proponents of juicing will tell you that if you add just a "little bit" of fruit, you can't taste the vegetables.  That would be what we call quantum leap logic.  OK--so procedurally, you just mash all this goodness up into a ball, send it down the chute and gag down what comes out the bottom.  It speaks somewhat to the issue at hand that I'm not only willing to do this, but spent money getting stuff to do it with.  Historically speaking, had the Children of Israel had to drink this sludge rather than eat bitter herbs at Passover, they'd still be in Egypt.  Just saying.